Dagwood: The first of the major presidential primaries is coming up at the beginning of next month. Naturally, you weren't invited because you are unaffiliated with either of the major political parties. So, what message(s) would you like to communicate to voters on the eve of the Iowa Caucus and New Hampshire primary?
BF: First, a shout out to my fans in Iowa. Love your corn, man! To my peeps in New Hampshire, maybe I'll see you on the slopes some time.
Now, second, to my message.
If you want plain speak, don't vote for a guy who practices it in front of a vanity mirror while getting his coif perfected. Vote for someone who dishes out plain speak daily with every howl or wood knock he makes. I may not look pretty. My hair is a mess, stinky, full of knots, mattes, and any number of species of tiny parasites. But I care more about what I am saying than how I look saying it.
If you want someone who will bring "real" change to America, don't vote for career politicians looking to move up the proverbial career ladder. That's what you get with most of the candidates in both parties. They are, more often than not, too zealous and wanting for their own good...and yours, too.
I want to be elected POTUS because I want to help people believe in something again; namely their country, its values and ideals. I mean, if you can't believe in Bigfoot, then what the heck can you believe in?
Dagwood: Any particular issues you think need to be stood on for the upcoming primaries?
BF: Yeah, noise pollution. There is an over-abundance of hot air being expelled this time of year; especially in places like Iowa and New Hampshire. I encourage voters to filter out all of the hot air, and breathe fresh oxygen again. That's what they get with me; fresh, organic air not spoiled by pollutants. I don't have the advantage of years of experience in politics. I don't dance the Potomac two-step. I don't talk out of both sides of my mouth, and I'm not double-tongued. I tell it like it is. Don't like it? Don't vote for me. If you are the kind of voter who is easily offended by body odor or truth, then I'm not your candidate. But if you can stomach my smell, then the truth won't hurt you, either.
Dagwood: Who do you think will emerge from the major parties as the front-runners after Iowa and New Hampshire?
BF: I still think Donald Trump is a farce, a show that will eventually lose its luster and fade from the spotlight. Whether that happens in February or June remains to be seen. Let's just say the start of the primary season separates the men from the boys, so to speak. If Trump is real, then his lead will increase to such an extent that catching up with him will be unlikely for any of his competitors. But if he is just a show, as I suspect, then his lead will gradually and steadily narrow. Even if he remains in the lead after the February primaries, if that lead has been significantly reduced, then that tells me the voters of the GOP want someone else with a better message; not simply better hair.
Ted Cruz has come on strong, and that is surprising considering the names ahead of him with greater notoriety and better affluence. But his emergence in the past month has told me that voters eagerly want an alternative to Trump; someone with a similar message, but not the same show. That's why I feel Trump's time in the limelight will be finite. The GOP really does want someone else. But it tolerates Trump because he's good for their bottom line right now.
The rest of the field is too far behind, I think, to make up significant ground on Trump and Cruz. Anything is possible, of course, but that is my feeling.
Bush is Bush. We've done that dance for 12 years. Carson is fading because he is just a nice guy who lacks a political edge to him. People want someone in the White House who they feel exudes strength, and the good doctor is just that: a good guy. Not sure if he is national leadership material.
Fiorina is all corporate. People think of her as the face of a company, not a nation.
Rubio is more centrist, and lacks appeal to the conservative core of the GOP. He also doesn't seem to be as aggressive or assertive in his campaign at this juncture as Trump and Cruz, and that will hurt him in the long run. If you're going to step to the plate, then play ball. Take your swings, and don't watch the strikes fly by you.
Everyone else in the field is just there. The bulk of the field will be gone in 1-2 months.
BF: As far as the dems go, Hillary has the notoriety to run away with this year's party nomination. But a lot of folks thought that very same thing in 2008 coming into Iowa. Then Obama showed up and it was all over. Frankly, Sanders and the other candidates don't have Obama's swagger or his snake oil. It would have to be some dark horse that enters the race late that snatches it out from under Hillary again. I'm not dismissing that possibility, either. Just doesn't seem likely this time around.
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