Hello, this is me

I've gone by many names over the years: Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Ape Man, Wild Man, Grass Man, Lake Monster or Creature, and Skunk Ape, among others.
My wife calls me Buster, which I'm unsure is a sarcastic or sincere moniker, because she calls me that all of the time. Either way, the name has stuck.
I live in a cave somewhere deep in the woods with my family: My wife, Windolyn, or Windy, and our son, B.J.
I'm a bit of a night owl, preferring to grocery shop when the sun goes down. But I do like to catch some rays and soak up a little vitamin D sunshine on occasion, too.
When not scaring the socks off hikers, hunters and campers, my leisure time is spent enjoying mud baths, relaxing in natural hot springs pools, and playing a little Bigfoot-style baseball. Let's just say it's more of a challenge trying to hit a one-ton boulder with a half-ton tree trunk.
You might be wondering why is a guy like me running for President of the United States?
Well, for one thing, I am passionate about a number of issues.
I seek to protect the environment; namely mine. I support gun control; especially hunting rifles that are usually aimed at me. I believe in free-roaming migration, too, so don't fence me in, as the old cowboy song goes.
I resent so-called animal rights groups protesting the consumption of meat. I love meat, and no one better come between me and my next meal, okay?
I believe in a strong national defense. Every time some human gets close to my food stash or my lair, I bombard them with the finest, most destructive boulders nature can provide; all for the cause of protecting what is mine. A good, strong body odor helps ward off trespassers, too.
I guess my foreign policy can be considered isolationist. Leave me the heck alone, and I'll do the same. But bother me, and I can be pretty annoying. Let me have what's mine, and you can have what's yours. Live, and let live, right?
Too bad others don't always see things that way, which is why I support a strong national defense.
I support fair trade: rock for a rock, grub for a grub, that sort of thing.
I support justice: Eye for an eye, and so forth. You push me, I push back and throw a boulder on top for good measure.
To me, capital punishment is being subjected to 24 hours of non-stop C-SPAN.